Monday, January 29, 2007

the ONION: Martin Scorsese's Next Film To Be Three Hours Of Begging For Oscar

NEW YORK—Director Martin Scorsese, long praised as one of the greatest modern American filmmakers for his works Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Last Temptation Of Christ, and Goodfellas, is following up his recent string of critically acclaimed triumphs with The Entitled, a three-hour, unabashed plea for a Best Director Oscar that opens nationwide Friday.

"For years I did the little pictures about the types of people I grew up with," said a passionately gesturing Scorsese in another Entitled scene. "Then I did the prestige-y, historical stuff like Last Temptation and The Age Of Innocence because I related to the characters, you know, outsiders in repressive environments making fateful choices. Then I started making the big sweeping epics, like Kundun and The Aviator. I've made comedies and documentaries, even concert films. Ever heard of The Last Waltz? No? Okay. You should."

Continued Scorsese, "What happens? Nothing. Nothing for the versatile visionary who lives and breathes pictures."

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