In this week's Onion Op/Ed, "Charlton Heston" rants about the good old days when he performed his own miracles while filming The Ten Commandments:
"Even though I am constantly telling interviewers and strangers at the grocery store how I turned my staff into a snake, which then ate the snake of Pharaoh's court magician, they persist with this "special effects" nonsense. I'm starting to wonder why I bothered shrinking myself down and assuming the form of a small infant so that I could be placed in a basket and floated down the River Nile when they could have just substituted a stunt baby and no one would have batted an eye.
What has happened to artistic integrity? Am I the only actor left who cares about his craft?"
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